We all grow up with a perfect notion of what family should be. While some may be blessed to have had it, the truth is that many of us will struggle with the fact that life did not present the ideal.

My mother was forced into marriage at a pretty early age, in what was a polygamous setting, to a much older husband. She was blessed to have had three girls ahead of me. When I was conceived, she hoped that I would be a boy so as to validate her position in her marital home. Unfortunately for her, I turned out to be a girl. And right there, at the place of childbirth, I bumped into rejection. My mother refused to breastfeed me or have me vaccinated.

As I grew up, I faced unending cycles of rejection. Consequently, I battled with anger that was triggered by the emotional turmoil caused by lack of acceptance and suffered a poor self-image.

Later in life, I had a moment of self-reflection, and for the first time looked into the mirror of my past. Like one awakening from a dream, I was able to remember and trace the root of my pain – that rejection at childbirth.

For the first time, I was able to acknowledge my pain, process my emotions, begin to empathize with my mother, accept the reality of her mistakes, and somehow understand her humanity.

You see, God does not work with your wounds; He works with your fruit.

Coming back with fruit is not about pretending that you did not get scarred along the journey, or get pricked by thorns, or experience moments of distress. Coming back with fruit will mean overcoming the natural human tendency to cover things up and pretend they did not happen.

While the situation you face may different from mine or even other people, the principle towards healing remains the same.

You must acknowledge the difficult moments, but at the same time, realize that the value and worth of the fruit is way higher than the pain and discomfort you had to endure.

We all grow up with a perfect notion of what family should be. While some may be blessed to have had it, the truth is that many of us will struggle with the fact that life did not present the ideal.

My mother was forced into marriage at a pretty early age, in what was a polygamous setting, to a much older husband. She was blessed to have had three girls ahead of me. When I was conceived, she hoped that I would be a boy so as to validate her position in her marital home.

Unfortunately for her, I turned out to be a girl. And right there, at the place of childbirth, I bumped into rejection. My mother refused to breastfeed me or have me vaccinated.

As I grew up, I faced unending cycles of rejection. Consequently, I battled with anger that was triggered by the emotional turmoil caused by lack of acceptance and suffered a poor self-image.

Later in life, I had a moment of self-reflection, and for the first time looked into the mirror of my past. Like one awakening from a dream, I was able to remember and trace the root of my pain – that rejection at childbirth.

For the first time, I was able to acknowledge my pain, process my emotions, begin to empathize with my mother, accept the reality of her mistakes, and somehow understand her humanity.

You see, God does not work with your wounds; He works with your fruit.

Coming back with fruit is not about pretending that you did not get scarred along the journey, or get pricked by thorns, or experience moments of distress.

Coming back with fruit will mean overcoming the natural human tendency to cover things up and pretend they did not happen.

While the situation you face may be different from mine or even other people, the principle towards healing remains the same.

You must acknowledge the difficult moments, but at the same time, realize that the value and worth of the fruit is way higher than the pain and discomfort you had to endure.

Numbers 13:20 “Do your best to bring back some fruit of the land.”

My name is Judy Mzungu Jabali. I am a Kingdom Life Coach© and I guide individuals towards healing, finding their Identity and rediscovering the path to their Purpose.

Safari Njema!